A Tip for Sesame Street

A question I found myself asking while writing my next post (stay tuned): If Sesame Street has a character named Ethel Mermaid, why is there no Elephants Gerald?

Ethel Mermaid, a fishtailed reference to the indomitable, belting dame of the Broadway stage, transposes Cole Porter’s original alcohol- and cocaine-laced lyrics into an alphabet song for tots.

So, Sesame Street, why not continue in this vein? I think a scatting, plush elephant is in order. “Tea for Two”—or should I say Tea for 2 —anyone? She could spin the charming little ditty into an ode to 1+1. The Count might want to get involved too.